A Happy Medium
by Zarius
Summary: Mama wanted to see some paintings...but she was'nt expecting the boys to go to an extra length of creativity (a follow up to "Art Crawl")
**BOB'S BURGERS**

 **A HAPPY MEDIUM**

 **WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

 **Disclaimer: Bob's Burgers and all characters are trademarked by 20** **th** **Century Fox**

 **Note: This fic is set after "Art Crawl"**

* * *

"Mama's coming back, and Mama better see some paintings" yelled Louise as her aggressive tone cut through the stillness of the evening and startled her classmates Andy and Ollie.

"She's coming" said Andy.

"She's approaching" said Ollie.

"Do we have anything else she hasn't already looked over?" asked Andy.

"Maybe the one with-no, that's not crude enough" said Ollie.

"Don't think of any work we do as crude, that's criminal" reassured Andy, placing his hand on Ollie's shoulder.

"Criminal? Oh no, I'm going to jail" Ollie said, resorting to tender sobs.

"No, no, you're not, and I'd bail you out anyway" said Andy.

"You can't afford us, we only get $5 per paper route" insisted Ollie.

"I can ask for a raise with this job then" said Andy.

"We might not have this job too long" said a panicked Ollie.

"Alright, just how much have you babies been crawling?" said Louise as she finally made her way over to the art stand.

"Don't send me to jail" said Ollie, kneeling down and tugging at Louise's skirt.

"What's with him? Did his creativity commit suicide or something?" said Louise, kicking Ollie away.

"You've worked us pretty hard Louise, this is usually when we go home and have butter" said Andy.

"Butter on jackets" added Ollie.

"I know you probably mean jacket potatoes, but frankly I fully expect you to mean actual jackets" said Louise.

"We should have brought jackets, its cold out here" said Ollie.

"Stop stalling, do you have any more paintings or not? We've got to start thinking about a lush green currency" snapped Louise, her tone petrifying the two boys.

Ollie whispered a couple of suggestions into Andy's ear, he went under the table.

"Is he fetching anything?" said Louise.

"I think he's trying to hide" said Ollie.

"Did you TELL him to hide?" said Louise, cracking her knuckles.

Ollie shielded his face, startled and frightened.

"I confess, I told him to fetch the family portrait" he said.

"The hell?" said Louise, raising an eyebrow.

"I found it" said Andy as he emerged from the table clutching a painting.

"Andy, you made it back, did you find an escape route?" said a relieved Ollie as he embraced Andy.

"We won't need it, not after she sees this" said Andy.

"Give me that" Louise replied, taking the painting from Andy

"I want to see what lows you've sunk to. The lower the quality, the higher the price from those invested in it" she said.

"We hope you'll be the one giving us the cash for it" said Andy.

Louise examined the painting closely, her eyes widening, her jaw dropping ever so slightly, she was left almost speechless.

The 'family portrait' was of her and the boys, all gathered around the table, Andy and Ollie with their arms wrapped around Louise, who's very expression in the picture was one of sheer annoyance, her arms folded, her rabbit ears slightly crooked, and a big red blush across her face.

Something that was as true for Louise in reality at this present moment as it was in the portrait.

She read the dedication at the top of the portrait

' _To Mom'_

She looked over at Andy and Ollie as they patiently awaited her verdict.

She walked over to the pair of them and clipped them on the ears.

"Sentimentality doesn't sell dammit. Sick" said Louise.

She contemplated storming off, or taking the portrait and breaking it in two, but too many confusing feelings began to tighten their grip on her soul.

"You believed in our talents, we just wanted to say thank you through our art" said Andy.

"We won't be mad if you decide not to buy. Just knowing we love you is enough" said Ollie.

"Yeah we love you Louise" said Andy.

"Oh god, I never want to hear or see a thing about art crawls ever again, get the hell out of here, both of you" Louise ordered.

"I'm not going to jail then?" said Ollie.

"I'm the warden around these parts where you're concerned, you're lucky I'm pardoning you" Louise continued, turning the table over in a rage.

Andy and Ollie made good their escape as Louise began to take deep intakes of breath, the conflicting emotions fowling up her mood even further.

How could they?

How could they?!

She had such a great thing going, and then she had to share some of the money to prevent her dad from going to jail for causing damage to that cranky elderly couple's paintings, and now the one thing that was preventing her artsy acts of crudeness was a whole other artsy act entirely.

One of kindness.

The thoughts crept up on her, and, worse, were compelling her to compromise her present attitude.

What was with women and feelings?

She sometimes felt like cursing your entire gender identity, especially for what she was about to do next.

"Andy, Ollie, wait" Louise said as the two began to wander into the distance. Louise ran up to them with the painting.

"Maybe I sort of went too far in keeping you out here all day serving up petty paintings instead of pretty ones, but things like this? They're just complicating a bit of a simple gig for me, for you, for all of us, and we should'nt be dealing with feelings like that while we're still a little too young, a little too raw, y'know?"

"She likes us medium?" asked Ollie.

"A HAPPY medium" said Louise.

"We can be that" said Ollie.

"That appeals to each of our better halfs" said Andy, putting his arm around Ollie.

"Cool, a fusion's in order then" said Louise, humouring them, "Like on all those animes right?"

"What's an anime when it's at home?" said Ollie.

Louise placed a tender hand on his shoulder

"I think its best you leave that little lesson to your little coach in culture. I'll tell you all about it while I walk you guys home" said Louise.

She placed her hands on her hips and gave Andy and Ollie a silent command with her eyes. Instinctively, the pair wrapped their hands around her arms and the trio walked down the pier, each of them left feeling enchanted.


End file.
